So What’s your Quarter to Twelve?
by Gil Rosen

When an old clock strikes twelve, all three handles (hour, minute, second) are aligned in perfect symmetrical formation. My father calls this a symbol of perfection. A single moment in time in which several vectors of the same machine, acting individually and paced separately, all come to harmony. During that one second there is simple, undisputable perfection.

But when the minute handle gets stuck in the “quarter to” spot (A.K.A 11:45) then the clock is broken and that ‘perfect’ moment can not be achieved. To describe all those imperfect moments -, machines, human behaviors – my dad coined the term “it’s a quarter to twelve”.

We like to use this metaphor often, it’s a kind of ‘polite curse’. Instead of saying this f@#$ is not working you just say…”arrrr its quarter to twelve”. A “quarter to twelve” is not to be used sparingly. We reserve it to cases where everything is perfect but a single thing that must have fallen off, making the complete picture tainted.

Let me share a classic quarter to twelve with you - I am a proud owner of a Sony Ericson w800i. I love it. I think it is one of the few fusion phones around. A real phone, a real MP3 Player, a radio, a camera…all bundled into one good looking, lightweight machine…great, if not that single “quarter to twelve”.

In order to function as an MP3 player / radio, the w800i comes with custom earphones. At first they seemed awesome. They snuggle in your ear, convey the full range of sounds, have a quick answer button - no more, no less. Basically all an earphones needs. The problem then? the ear covers are detachable.

In some freak design accident, Sony Ericson decided that the comfy earphones need detachable rubber covers in order to function. I’ll say it again, If the rubber comes off – the ear piece can NOT stay within the ear (unless you are a vampire– see picture below). With the classic earphones, when those thin spongy covers fall off, it doesn’t make any difference – they are still ‘plug and play’. But in the case of the “royal” Sony Ericson earphones, if the rubber falls the earphone are rendered totally disabled.

Now I gather this stupidity didn’t go unnoticed all the way through Sony/Ericson design house. When I got the phone it came with extra FOUR pieces. Someone must have noticed this design flaw and decided to mitigate stupidity with WASTE. After the first piece fell off I was pissed but quickly resorted to the pack and replaced it. From then on, I knew the Gods of “quarter to twelve” are on my ass. Its only been a month since then and I have managed to go through the pack and finish all the replacements.

This short story embodies all the characteristics of “quarter to twelve”…it could have been perfect only….now I am left with beautifully designed phone, great MP3 player, great radio….with no way to listen to it 

So what’s your quarter to twelve?

Gil Rosen
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